Reality Bites (sometimes)

I might have hid in my car today during soccer practice to eat a Twix bar and some sour gummy worms . . . I would like to say I snacked on pepperoni or almonds or other approved Keto snack but LIFE happened.

Rewind a few hours . . . The little fur babies (my chihuahuas) got out of the back deck (with the help of their fur sister labradoodle who helpfully pushed the small gate aside). So as I was pulling dinner out of the oven I had to race outside to chase down my 5 pound chihuahua through the neighborhood. This was after a stressful day at work and racing to school to get my son then get him home, fed, and ready for soccer practice! Thankfully my nieghbor was doing drop off (it takes a village ya’ll). Did I mention I STILL had to go pick up my husband! After dropping my husband at home I went to pick up my son and his friend from soccer (carpool!). I should start a career as an Uber driver! Are you tired yet because I started my day tired and even my magic Keto Coffee was not cutting it today.

Ok, back to my day . . . On my way to pick up the kiddos I stopped for a Diet Coke at the gas station and somehow the offending candy ended up in my bag. Why am I telling you this? I could have blogged a pretty selfie or #soccermom but really that wasn’t me today. I never had a chance to shower and I stayed in my car to check Facebook during the last 20 min of practice! We have a tendency to look at social media and only see that filtered selfie. I wanted to share the REAL!

Well, I immediately felt bad about my secret indulgence and the inner dialogue became downright mean. “You idiot” “you will NEVER change” “your just a hypocrite” . . . Sound familiar?

The thing is we are never going to be perfect because, well, we are imperfect beings. But we are perfectly loved. How easily we forget that though.

As this inner dialogue was telling me I was worthless and fat and would fail, again, this song came on the radio (hello God, yes, you have my attention):

So I wrote all this to just say it’s ok to have bad days. In fact it’s impossible not to.  But I’m gonna do what the song says and I’m not gonna waste anymore days believing these awful words that I tell myself!!! The dog gets out, the microwave breaks, the kid won’t go to bed, you mess up at work, say the wrong thing, argue with your partner, yell at the kid . . . I’m sure you can insert your own list! This was mine just for the last few days (hence chocolate!) There are just going to be those days were adulting takes literally everything you have and still doesn’t feel good enough!  Well I’m here to tell you I’m good enough and so are you!

The difference is in how you respond to  The bad days. I’m not going to gain 20 pounds back eating a Twix bar and sour gummy worms, just like I’m not going to lose 20 pounds eating one salad or a single carrot. It took a lifetime of overeating to get to where I was 4 months ago. Steady, consistent hard work will help me reach my goal but it’s not happening overnight. This time, instead of giving in to the negative, I wrote this blog, I confronted my inner dialogue and said enough is enough. I don’t have to give up and just say “oh well, I might as well just forget all the progress I’ve made.” The old me would have come home and wallowed in more bad choices. The new me is ok with the imperfect because I know who I am in the eyes of Jesus. Know who you are. YOU are loved, YOU are worthy- like the song says He didn’t make a mistake!

Ok, now that  i’ve got that off my chest I’m going to go to bed early because unbelievably my child is asleep by 8 PM, on a school night! OK, I said I would be real 😇  there’s no way I’m gonna go to sleep right now so I will go binge watch Making a Murder Part 2